Game of War and the $40 Million: A Tale of Tragedy

Moving past the fact that Upton’s cleavage accumulates more screen time than the actual army behind her or gameplay clips and images, the actual gameplay leaves something to be desired. I downloaded Game of War expecting nothing in particular and that’s just what I got. a few seconds after launching the app, it crashed quite suddenly. Undeterred, I re-opened the game and it finished the loading sequence that was thankfully, Upton-free. Not long after, I came to the initiation screen and Machine Zone’s $40 million stood before me.


Going through the tutorial was easy enough and soon after, Kate sent me on my way. I found myself feeling slightly uncomfortable with having a toga-clad Upton boss me around but I guess that’s the experience Machine Zone was shooting for. I now had a farm and an upgrade on my stronghold. One free spin on a prize wheel later and I was being prompted to purchase more “chips”, with my own money of course, no in-game currency available to me. I had expected all of this and the game hadn’t really deviated from it’s mobile brethren in any way. The one aspect that did set it apart? Kate Upton of course. I spent some time snooping around and found my own character page. I was not disappointed. My character was a female, named Apollona, dressed about as much as Athena-Upton.

Evony, another mobile game produced by Evony LLC, focused a great deal on its female characters to draw in an audience. That’s one search that I’ll leave to the readers. Apparently, war-games and slave-Leia’s just go together… Don’t fret though, maybe one day a stray prop will miss its carefully selected target and teach the industry a thing or two about proper attire in the workplace.